wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
