My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
