just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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