I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
