I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You are the jesus of drinking
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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