we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
