No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
