in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
