I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
