Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
