If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
