Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
