You really coming over, don't trick.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
