There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
