ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I will be naked everywhere
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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