whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
