I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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