Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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