Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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