did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
