You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
This is my gift to your gina
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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