we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
