I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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