She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
