im holly from the hills drunk
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
