he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I enjoy the company of your penis
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
