Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
