youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
