My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
