I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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