Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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