Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
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