Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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