This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
