The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
