Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
