I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
