omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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