I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
