Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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