Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
