Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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