So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
