im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
