I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
