I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i drank out of a bidet.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
