you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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