watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
