i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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