plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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