Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
