he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
