i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We're too hungover to prance.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
