wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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