Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
