Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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